Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
