mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
