Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
