I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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