my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
