I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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