she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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