Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
