wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
