These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I had to cum in my sink.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
