U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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