I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
