Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
