is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
