How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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