There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
