She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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