Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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