One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Text me some of your sweat
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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