I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
