Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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