That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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