Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
