Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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