I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
