my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
