Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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