What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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