I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
