I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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