I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bring me that man meat
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
