mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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