Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
