Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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