when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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