She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
