Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
