we're blogging at a bar
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
