I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
