Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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