We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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