u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
