Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
