I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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