So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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