***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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