2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
