i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
