If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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