Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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