But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
